Sometimes a child

exteriorization @ 2009-07-12T17:02:00

2009-07-12T21:02:36Z

i want to take a nap.

exteriorization @ 2009-06-19T14:29:00

2009-06-19T18:31:20Z

I hate when i feel like i have to lie.
it makes me physicially ill.

my boss is going to ask me about the game, and i am going to say something about how we went, but tim got sick so we left.
i feel like i am going to vomit.
my nerves are shot, and my stomach is queezy, and my hands are shaking.

ugh

thanks but no thanks MTV.

2009-06-19T02:47:53Z

16 and pregnant
worst
show
ever
i want a refund on my one hour of life i wasted.

MTV should be ashamed of themselves. they chose a beautiful, popular, 16 year old girl that threw away the baby daddy like he was last week's gossip magazine. she has a baby and they make it look like perfume and roses. sure they throw in a tear or two that she sheds over the loss of her cheerleading outfit. they show her parents, friends, and family all estatic over this little bundle of joy out of wedlock.
some little 16 year old girl in middle america is going to watch this and think about how daddy never loved her, and mommy is a drunk, and maybe a baby would be something nice, warm, and soft to love and call her own. MTV is doing society no favors by "exposing" the harsh realities of what it means to be a parent before the time is right and age, logic, and good reason have time to factor into the daily decisions of these young girls.
ugh

25 and over

2009-06-09T16:14:56Z

I took this from Guy, he took it from a blog www.tomatonation.com.
I think it imparts some serious life wisdom.
Though i am not 25, i think it applies to anyone who is numerically an adult (i will call this age 21+). after that i agree all these things become inexcuesable. I break at least one of these rules every day, but i am posting this here to remind myself to do and be better. not perfect, just better.

25 And Over

If you have reached the age of 25, I have a bit of bad news for you, to wit: it is time, if you have not already done so, for you to emerge from your cocoon of post-adolescent dithering and self-absorption and join the rest of us in the world. Past the quarter-century mark, you see, certain actions, attitudes, and behaviors will simply no longer do, and while it might seem unpleasant to feign a maturity and solicitousness towards others that you may not genuinely feel, it is not only appreciated by others but necessary for your continued survival. Continuing to insist past that point that good manners, thoughtfulness, and grooming oppress you in some way is inappropriate and irritating.

Grow up.

And when I instruct you to grow up, I do not mean that you must read up on mortgage rates, put aside candy necklaces, or desist from substituting the word "poo" for crucial syllables of movie titles. Silliness is not only still permitted but actively encouraged. You must, however, stop viewing carelessness, tardiness, helplessness, or any other quality better suited to a child as either charming or somehow beyond your control. A certain grace period for the development of basic consideration and self-sufficiency is assumed, but once you have turned 25, the grace period is over, and starring in a film in your head in which you walk the earth alone is no longer considered a valid lifestyle choice, but rather grounds for exclusion from social occasions.

And now, for those of you who might have misplaced them, marching orders for everyone born before 1980.

1. Remember to write thank-you notes. If you do not know when a thank-you note is appropriate, consult an etiquette book — the older and more hidebound the book, the better. When in doubt, write one anyway; better to err on the side of formality. An email is not sufficient thanks for a physical gift. Purchase stationery and stamps, set aside five minutes, and express your gratitude in writing. Failure to do so implies that you don't care. This implication is a memorable one. Enough said.

2. Do not invite yourself to stay with friends when you travel anymore. Presumably you have a job, and the means to procure yourself a hotel. If so, do so. If not, stay home. Mentioning that you plan a visit to another city may lead to an invitation to stay with a friend or family member, which you may of course accept; assuming that "it's cool if you crash" is not. Wait for the invitation; if it is not forthcoming, this is what we call "a hint," and you should take it and make other arrangements.

3. Do not expect friends to help you move anymore. You may ask for help; you may not expect it, particularly if your move date is on a weekday. Your friends have jobs to go to, and you have accumulated a lot of heavy books by this point in your life. Hire a mover. If you cannot afford a mover, sell your books or put them in storage — or don't move, but one way or another, you will have to cope.

4. Develop a physical awareness of your surroundings. As children, we live in our own heads, bonking into things, gnawing on twigs, emitting random squawks because we don't know how to talk yet. Then, we enter nursery school. You, having graduated college or reached a similar age to that of the college graduate, need to learn to sense others and get out of their way. Walk single file. Don't blather loudly in public spaces. Give up your seat to those with disabilities or who are struggling with small children. Take your headphones off while interacting with clerks and passersby. Do not walk along and then stop suddenly. It is not just you on the street; account for that fact.

5. Be on time. The occasional public-transit snafu is forgivable, but consistent lateness is rude, annoying, and self-centered. If we didn't care when you showed up, we'd have said "any old time"; if we said seven, get there at seven or within fifteen minutes. Do not ditz that you "lost track of time" as though time somehow slipped its leash and ran into traffic. It shows a basic lack of respect for others; flakiness is not cute anymore, primarily because it never was. Buy a watch, wind it up, and wear it everywhere you go.

6. Have enough money. I do not mean "give up your scholarly dreams and join the world of corporate finance in order to keep up with the Joneses." I mean that you should not become that girl or boy who is always a few dollars short, can only cover exactly his or her meal but no tip, or "forgot" to go to the ATM. Go to the ATM first, don't order things you can't afford, and…

7. Know how to calculate the tip. Ten percent of the total; double it; done. You did not have to major in math to know how this works. You are not dumb, but your Barbie-math-is-hard flailing is agonizing and has outstayed its welcome. Ten percent times two. Learn it.

8. Do not share the crazy dream you had last night with anyone but your mental wellness professional. Nobody cares. People who starred in the dream may care, but confine your synopsis to ten words or fewer.

9. Learn to walk in heels. Gentlemen, you are at your leisure. Ladies: If you wear heels, know how to operate them. Clomping along and placing your foot down flat with each step gives the appearance of a ten-year-old playing dress-up, but a pair of heels is like a bicycle — you need momentum to stay up. Come down on the heel and carry forward through the toe, using your regular stride. If you feel wobbly, keep practicing, or get a pair that's better suited to your style of walking. It isn't a once-a-year prom thing anymore for a lot of you, so please learn to walk in them.

10. Have at least one good dress-up outfit. A dress code, or suggested attire on an invitation, is not an instrument of The Man. Own one nice dress, or one reasonable suit, or one sharp pair of pants and chic sweater — something you can clean up nice in for a wedding or a semi-formal dinner. You don't have to like it, but if the invitation requests it, put it on. Every night can't be poker night. Which reminds me…

11. Do as invitations ask you. Don't bring a guest when no such courtesy is extended. Don't blow off an RSVP; it means "please respond," and you should. "Regrets only" means you only answer if you can't come. If the party starts at eight, show up at eight — not at seven-thirty so you can go a "better" party later, not at eleven when dinner is cold. Eight. Cocktail parties allow for leeway, of course, but pay attention and read instructions; your host furnished the details for a reason.

12. Know how. Know how to drive. Know how to read a map. Know how to get around. Know how to change a tire, or whom to call if you can't manage it, or how to get to a phone if you don't have a cell phone. We will happily bail you out, until it becomes apparent that it's what you always need. The possibility of a fingernail breaking or a hairstyle becoming compromised is not grounds for purposeful helplessness.

13. Don't use your friends. It's soulless. It's also obvious. If the only reason you continue to associate with a person is to borrow his or her car, might I remind you that you have now turned 25 and may rent your own.

14. Have something to talk about besides college or your job. College is over. The war stories have their amusements, but not over and over and not at every gathering. Get a library card, go to the movies, participate in the world. Working is not living. Be interested so that you can be interesting.

15. Give and receive favors graciously. If you have agreed to do a favor, you may not 1) remind the favoree ceaselessly about how great a pain it is for you, or 2) half-ass it because the favoree "owes you." It is a favor; it is not required, and if you cannot do it, say so. If you can do it, pretend that nobody is watching, do it as best you can, and let that be the end of it. Conversely, if you ask for a favor and the askee cannot do it, do not get snappish. You can manage.

16. Drinking until you throw up is no longer properly a point of pride. It happens to the best of us, but be properly ashamed the next day; work on your tolerance, or eat something first, but amateur hour ended several years hence.

17. Have a real trash receptacle, real Kleenex, and, if you smoke, a real ashtray. No loose bags on the floor; no using a roll of toilet paper; no plates or empty soda cans. You are not a fierce warrior nomad of the Fratty Bubelatty tribe. Buy a wastebasket and grown-up paper products.

18. Universal quiet hours do in fact apply to you. They are, generally, as follows — midnight to six AM on weekdays, 2 AM to 8 AM on weekends. Mine is a fairly generous interpretation, by the by, so bass practice should conclude, not start, at ten PM. Understand also that just because nobody has complained directly to you does not mean that a complaint is not justified, or pending. Further, get your speakers off the floor. Yes, "now." Yes, a rug is still "the floor."

19. Take care of yourself. If you are sick, visit a doctor. If you are sad, visit a shrink or talk to a friend. If you are unhappy in love, break up. If you are fed up with how you look, buy a new shirt or stop eating cheese. If you have a problem, try to fix it. Many problems are knotty and need a lot of talking through, or time to resolve, but after a few months of all complaining and no fixing, those around you will begin to wonder if you don't enjoy the problems for the attention they bring you. Venting is fine; inertia coupled with pouting is not. Bored? Read a magazine. Mad at someone? Say so — to them. Change is hard; that's too bad. Effort counts. Make one. Your mommy's shift is over.

20. Rudeness is not a signifier of your importance. Rudeness is a signifier of itself, nothing more. We all have bad days; yours is not weightier than anyone else's, comparatively, and does not excuse displays of poor breeding. Be civil or be elsewhere.

exteriorization @ 2009-04-25T15:32:00

2009-04-25T19:32:44Z

fuck. you. all.

Inquire within

2009-03-18T17:51:14Z

I am putting myself up for adoption.
me: clean, quiet, 23 year old red head. full time student works 30+ hours/ wk. Does moderate cleaning and cooking and is tidy.

you: spare bedroom, no other children.

Please inquire within

something interesting to look at

2009-03-11T19:42:44Z

http://thousanddollardress.com/index.html

This makes me sick

2009-02-13T18:24:31Z

I came accross these today
I am 100% pro-choice, but in the same breath i am also 100% accept responsibility for your actions. we live in a soicety where there is almost NO excuse for unwanted pregnancys, there are like five differnt types of condoms, not to menton the hundreds of brands, birth control, plan B. I think if you are sexually active there needs to be a plan put into place for the what if. Abortion is not a form of birth control. if there is a medical emergency, circumstances beyond ones control, or harm that is going to be caused to the mother, then yes, i believe abortion is a valid choice. but if you are 28 years old and are just too lazy to take a pill or have your guy put on a condom then own up to your actions. adoption IS an option. there are SO many well qualified couples and singles who would make wonderful parents.

take a look at some of these websites and see what a monster they are making adoptions out to be.

http://www.keepyourbaby.com/adoptees_and_truth.html

http://www.originscanada.org/index.html

http://www.amfor.net/

http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html

And this one- a doctor was performing an abortion on a woman who was 23 weeks pregnat- thats almost 6 months. A baby at that gestation has the possibility of surviving on its own.

http://www.buffalonews.com/260/story/570428.html

after the first trimester i think abortion should be illegal unless there is a sever medical problem. to abort a pregnancy when the child has the possibility of breathing on its own is professionally unethical and morally repugnant.

thats my soapbox speach for the day.

exteriorization @ 2009-01-23T10:12:00

2009-01-23T15:12:53Z

I just dont have time for the nervous breakdown i deserve

exteriorization @ 2009-01-05T09:41:00

2009-01-05T14:41:58Z

I just registered for the LSATs- dear god help me

exteriorization @ 2008-12-30T10:05:00

2008-12-30T15:06:23Z

got my bonus check yesterday.
so far ive bought-
shoes
shirt
12 bras (online)

go me

fuckin americans man

2008-12-23T02:25:41Z

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20248609,00.html

read that -
no really go ahead, ill wait.
...
...
...

seriously, who gives a fuck?
our economy is in the toilet, the american auto industry is about to go belly up, the stock market is droping like rock, unemployment is up, and in three years we are going to look back on this time as the calm before the storm, because (not to be a pessisamist but...) its going to get much worse before it gets better.

so the last thing i give a shit about is what our president elect puts on a cracker and eats for a snack.

no wonder why the whole world thinks americans are dumb as rocks, we have full articles dedicated to the eating habbits and snack bar tab of our future president.

so merry christmas, enjoy it, it may be the last "merry" one this country sees in awhile.

just putzing around

2008-12-10T00:33:07Z

Rosalie Maureen
Leigh Marie
Gabriel Joseph
Reed Timothy

Names of future potential children. i have become recently obsessed with names from the late 1800s error, Reed is still a little iffy....

exteriorization @ 2008-11-24T11:46:00

2008-11-24T16:47:08Z

My ears are ringing- i wonder whose talking about me....

exteriorization @ 2008-11-17T09:23:00

2008-11-17T14:23:37Z

If you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. you're on my list, so I want to know you better!

Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

the secret to academic success

2008-11-14T17:05:17Z

i believe my academic success is a direct result of my love of reading.
when i was young and through high school and into the begining of college i read anything i could get my hands on. fiction, nonfiction, i didnt care i could literally block anyone and everything out and just read for hours. given the right book and the optimal circumstances i can still do this today (my mother calles it my "anti social tendencies")
because i have read so many different types of books it created in me a love of writing.
so what does this have anything to do with academic success?
i can write pure peices of fiction and pass them off as absolute truth.
if the need arises to lie, i will studder over myself, break out in hives and eventually burst into tears.
but if you ask me to interview two funneral directors and determine how they got into their field and what their daily emotions are in dealing with the dead and grieving (just as an example, i have done many of these papers in a verity of different subjects) i will give to you eight pages of beautifully written fiction, pass it off as fact and have you convinced that i am the most dilligant researcher/interviewer there ever was.
not only does this method save me time and energy, but it also usually grants me an A.

if i ever get the oppurtuinity to write a commencement speach i will come clean on all the times i falseified documents just for a good grade.

poem

2008-11-02T22:01:04Z

A man said to the Universe
"Sir, I exist"
"However" replied the Universe
"The fact has not created in me a sense of obligation"
- Stephen Crane

Massachusetts Ballot Questions for Election 2008

2008-10-17T14:13:06Z

Question 1: Abolish State Income Tax (5.3% flat tax)

Although this would put $3,600 (on average) directly into the bank accounts of the average taxpayer each year, it would wipe out 40% of the state budget and take with it a whole host of social services that we've come to enjoy over the past few decades.

My Opinion: NO! This is a very bad proposal. Our economy in Massachusetts is very poor at the moment; taking 40% out of the state budget is not going to do anything but create more problems. Those social services? VERY NECESSARY. I think we have the logic of “hey it’s not affecting us, why should we care?” but guess what? It is affecting you, its going to clog up the ERs, exacerbate the homeless situation, and leave children with fewer resources then they already have. Massachusetts already has a job freeze. That 3600 into the pockets of your average taxpayer? The social implications will cost you much more I promise.

Question 2: Decriminalize Marijuana Possession

This would replace criminal penalties for possession of one ounce or less of the drug with civil penalties, making it comparable to a parking ticket.

My Opinion: DUMB. Honestly my life really isn’t going to be affected one way or the other. I don’t think decriminalizing Marijuana is going to create a new generation of smoking hippies, if you smoke already good for you keep it in moderation and you won’t go to jail, if you don’t I doubt this is going to make you into a card carrying pot head. The only thing marijuana does right now is clog up the court systems and turns good people into “criminals” because of their recreation of choice. At least with decriminalizing it the commonwealth will be getting some revenue to dump back into our economy. So I guess I will be going with a yes vote.

Question 3: Ban Greyhound Racing

Would place a permanent ban on greyhound racing in Massachusetts. This has been tried twice before and was defeated both times.

My Opinion: YES. Ban the hell out of this. Those dogs are treated very cruelly. They are breed for their racing abilities keep in cages until the event and then at the end of their prime, euthanized. If they are lucky to have a “sympathetic” owner they are given up to the “Adopt a greyhound” program, but these dogs are usually left with joint problems and social issues, not exactly the ideal family pet. Bottom line, cruelty to animals is unacceptable.

Go through the questions, educate yourself and VOTE!

fuck you sandwich thief!!

2008-10-15T14:30:00Z

i opened my lunch bag that i packed last night to get a drink and someone TOOK my pbj sandwich and replaced it with pop tarts.

seriously.

WHAT THE FUCK ?!?

who does that???

i need to move out of my house

exteriorization @ 2008-10-13T13:17:00

2008-10-13T17:18:32Z

SOMEONE NOMINATE ME FOR WHAT NOT TO WEAR!!!

i would totally suffer the humility of having my wardrobe ripped appart to have 5k to get new clothes....

fly like paper get high like planes

2008-10-08T19:19:05Z

have you ever just stopped and thought about your name?

Katie
Katie

i dont know if its because im high off cold meds or im just crazy, but im sitting at work and on facebook is my name and i just stared at it and said it out loud for like 5 minuits.
i started thinking about how different people i know say it differently.
like tim, he says it in a sweet way, making the hard K sound a little softer. he doesnt say my name often (he usually calls me boo boo, boo, or burton) but when he does it has a completely different sound.
my grandmother calles me katieburton. just like that all one word, im pretty sure im the only katie she knows but katieburton just rolls off the tongue nicely.
my mother. she calls me Kate. nothing makes me more aggravated then kate. i think she does it as a protest to im not technically her child and she didnt get to name me and doesnt really like my name. but that K sound, that tim makes so soft, sounds like nails on a chalk board coming out of her mouth.
i think people take their name for granted. i dont think any other name would have suited me. my father wanted to name me sarah or maria, can you picure a sarah burton or a maria burton (yuck) ?

this cold medicine is really kicking my ass.....

exteriorization @ 2008-10-01T16:18:00

2008-10-01T20:20:02Z

what i most love about tim?
he really knows how to pull through in clutch times.
when ever i am misserable (like i am today) he always knows what to do/say....

exteriorization @ 2008-10-01T09:24:00

2008-10-01T13:42:17Z

is it bad that i am feeling so damn sorry for myself that im finding it hard to be civil to anyone?
i am feeling so overwhelmed right now all i want to do is cry.
my car
school
my family
my finicial situation right now
the fact that i havnt had a cup of coffee in 5 days i am sure is not helping.
i woke up this morning and the concept of getting out of bed was so overwhelming that i just lied there and cried for 10 min.
i know, its dumb to get this worked up about things that are so foolish, but i am feeling very overwhelmed.
this is where my own personal version of depression comes in. things that i cant control that are making my life hell send me into a tailspin of missery.
i dont want to be at work.
i dont want to go out
i dont want to see anyone
i dont want to talk to anyone.
i want to go home, put on garden state and lie in bed for the next week.

monday

2008-09-29T18:00:14Z

I want to go home

I can’t ever remember having this bad of a day or string of days I suppose.

My car has died. My engine is shot. I dropped it off at the shop this morning to fix it and I got a call that on the low end of things to fix it would be 800 that is assuming that the engine is semi salvageable. This option is not looking very likely. The more likely solution is that the entire engine has to be replaced and that will be in the thousands to fix. That is more than I paid for the car in the first place. I cant afford to fix it, and I can’t put that burden on my parents.

I need my car. Without it I can’t get to school, I can’t get to work, I can’t go out.

Yeah yeah I know it’s just a car, there are worse things to be without it life. But I really just want to cry, its taking all my energy not to start sobbing.

I have a test tomorrow. Its 25% of my grade. I’m not prepared. I haven’t even started studying .

I feel defeated and depressed. This was defiantly the final straw that will end my usually perky disposition.

I want to go home, I want to crawl into my bed, and I want to forget today ever happened.

exteriorization @ 2008-09-17T15:51:00

2008-09-17T19:52:06Z

I
WANT
TO
GO
HOME